Below is lots of information on the following areas, f there’s something you’d like to know more about, them please contact Louise.
Abuse and bullying
Stress, worry, panic attacks
Sports Mind Coaching
IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)
Stress, worry, panic attacks
Our subconscious mind holds all our memories, blue prints, habits and routines. Working with the subconscious mind, it is possible to change how and how much certain events affect us. That event and after effects may have prevented you from doing what you’d like to, including being calm and relaxed – even if it feels like it has disappeared. So, instead of being hi-jacked by certain old events, control can be regained once more. What triggers or creates these reactions can start off being very specific, however over time these triggers grow and expand to the point that much more can be viewed as a trigger, and this can keep growing more and more, effecting normal life even more.
Being in such a high state of anxiety can become the normal way of being, which may not be helpful or wanted. The “fight, flight or freeze” reactions are usually used for exceptional circumstances, but this can become a normal way of being.
“I have worked with Louise to help me balance my life – demanding job, associated health issues and no time to live. Working with Louise I have found a true balance enabling me to enjoy life more. Louise works in a relaxed manner that enables you to find the way forward, and via coaching and other supporting skills enables you to face problems with confidence, find a way forward and enjoy the life you have earned. I would happily recommend Louise to anyone who is currently trying to balance a demanding and stressful life.”
are uncomfortable, both physically and for the mind. They are over developed reactions to a specific incident/learnt behaviour, using the fight/flight/freeze reactions we all have. Using clinical hypnotherapy and mind coaching, you could look at and then reduce these effects.
- Do you wish to feel calm and confident?
- Would you like to react appropriately in certain situations?
Stress is a normal psychological and physical reaction to the ever increasing demands of life. Surveys show that most Americans experience challenges with stress at some point during the year. In looking at the causes of stress, remember that your brain comes hard-wired with an alarm system for your protection. When your brain perceives a threat, it signals your body to release a burst of hormones to fuel your capacity for a response. This has been labeled the “fight-or-flight” response. Once the threat is gone, your body is meant to return to a normal relaxed state. Unfortunately, the nonstop stress of modern life means that your alarm system rarely shuts off.
That’s why stress management is so important. Stress management gives you a range of tools to reset your alarm system. Without stress management, all too often your body is always on high alert. Over time, high levels of stress lead to serious health problems. Don’t wait until stress has a negative impact on your health, relationships or quality of life. Start practicing a range of stress management techniques today.
(reference: Mayo Clinic, US)
Confidence, esteem & beliefs
Believing in yourself
Do you recognise one or some of these …
- Failure & fear of failure (and success)
- Lack of success, nerves and stress
- Do you hear some sort of critical internal dialogue?
- See yourself always failing?
- History repeating itself over and over negatively
- Is what you experience a level of perfection so you’re never good enough?
- Never be good enough
- Self sabotaging behaviour
- Ball and chain effect – barriers to success (beliefs and events)
- Scared and nervous of the future (in case it turns out bad)
- Not recognising the positive
- Always seeing and perceiving the negatives
These can all be part of your core belief system … not good enough, will never be good enough etc.
- Maybe you’ve been given these beliefs in early years?
- Maybe it was a part of bullying?
- Have you lost confidence through circumstances?
Although you’ve been handed and developed this negativity, it doesn’t mean that you’ll always have to go along with this into the future.
Here are some suggestions:
- Put the past in the past,
- Discard what’s rubbish and incorrect
- Work on building your self esteem and confidence.
- Realise, develop and then use the positives you’d like in your life.
- Empower yourself
- Turn off your inner critic
- Find and work on turning self sabotaging behaviours into better ones
Whatever is in the past can still affect people negatively well into the future. By removing the rubbish and replacing this with positive beliefs and confidence you can grow and develop stronger and more confident – no matter what you’ve been told or experienced. It’s a bit like sorting out the weeds from the beautiful flowers – those weeds that would happily take up all the energy from the flowers unless dealt with. Those ball and chains around you can be released and their power over you can be dissolved, replaced by inner confidence and esteem.
I’ve worked with numerous clients on this area, where they were able to work on areas that hurt them (whatever age or maturity).
Building your self esteem
OK, this is really all about putting you back in control and having better management of the present, the past and ultimately the future. So, how would you like to be …
- Feel & be more confident
- Be more self assured
- Feel and be more calm
- Feel & be more relaxed
- Feel & be more secure
- Feel & be more in control
- Be less reactive
For some it means looking at their past.
- You can discover who you really are, deal with the past and move on more positively.
- Would you like to get to know who you truly are (rather than what you’ve been told)?
- Really realise what you’re good at!
- Get rid of the rubbish you’ve been given
What would be helpful to you?
- Have better management of your reactions to certain situations?
- Put your past in the past (where it belongs)
- Work on what’s upset/affected you before, for a better future?
- Put those who gave you those labels/names in their proper place.
- Get rid of their stuff that’s been affecting you all these years!
- As children it’s difficult to sort out what’s good to keep and what’s rubbish, especially if it comes from adults.
- Want to get rid of what you’ve been given?
- Really realise what you’re good at!
… or anything else that you’d like to work on! It may have been some form of unreasonable behaviour, unfairness or sheer inability to deal in a mature way with the situation they found themselves in, possibly using blame and guilt.
- Maybe you remind them of someone else and they can’t get rid of that connection (that’s not your fault).
- Maybe someone else reminds them of someone else and that promotes favouritsm of another and they treat you unfairly.
People and especially children can become the brunt of behaviours that come from past events/beliefs – as an innocent bystander.
However, this doesn’t mean that you have to keep suffering from those effects!
- You may just need some support and help in getting rid of some old rubbish (from other people).
- Develop more confidence & trust in yourself.
It could need you to be brave, looking at the past that may have hurt or affected you, however, you can now take back control – and we will always work together on what you want to work on. We go at your pace, we look at things you need to look at (at your discretion) and we do this in a safe and confidential environment.
Phobias and habit changing
We all have and need habits and routines – most are useful; some are not.
Habits happen over time, some are learnt from others (adults when we’re little) or just come along and we collect them up. Nearly everything we do is a habit or routine. Sometimes these habits, which were once useful (or actually never were useful)become less so as we develop as people. As the subconscious mind keeps all of these habits/routines they will be kept until they are altered/stopped. Habits can also be useful and need further work to increase them to their maximum is also another part which can be worked on via clinical hypnotherapy and mind coaching. Habits also show themselves as phobias/fears.
Do any of these connect with you?
- I want to get rid of a phobia?
- I want more control over what I eat and when
- I want to change my habit of emotional eating
- I want to have more management over chocolate/crisps (etc).
- I want to stop reacting too much.
- I want to stop being self conscious.
- I want to do really good presentations.
- I want to stop being a couch potato.
- I want to do more exercise
- I want to enjoy some exercise.
- I want to get out more.
- I want to be more confident.
- I want to have more confidence in my own abilities.
- I want to believe in myself.
- I want to stop picking my hair.
- I want to stop picking and biting my nails.
- I want a different way of thinking – more positive.
- I want to have more belief in myself.
- … the list is as long as there are people on this planet!
Whatever you’d like to change/alter/reduce/increase with your habits, you could me for more information.
There are thousands of different phobias, as many as there are events, objects within our human experience. No phobia is . Phobias are simply reactions that are no longer appropriate or may be too strong. They are learnt behaviours and because phobias are generally learnt behaviours they can be regauged, the therapies on offer could well help you do regauge your unwanted/inappropriately strong reactions.
Phobia Example – button fear/phobia
This is a real life case regarding how a small child who grew in to an adult with a fear of buttons and how therapy was used to disconnect the believed connections. The client had a phobia of buttons. She’d always had this fear/phobia as long as she could remember (not so different to many people who have long held phobias). She didn’t remember what had started this phobia – the memory of this was being held safe by the subconscious mind, the reactions were evident and strong. To work on this issue, she went to see a hypnotherapist. Using the relaxation techniques she was in a very relaxed state and the therapist asked her subconscious mind to go back to the original event with regards to this phobia. This is completely necessary in order to access the true beginnings of the phobia, as the conscious mind can’t do this. (The subconscious mind remembers everything, and operates a very clever filing system). And this is what she found from her childhood memories: She became aware of a situation where her mother stressing about getting her cardigan off. As a child, she registered the buttons as being a negative because she saw her mother being stressed because she couldn’t take off her cardigan. Therefore buttons are bad/negative by her mother’s example. On a second review, what she became aware of as an adult was the following – her mother stressing about a wasp or bee on her, she was trying to get the cardigan off and in her stress about the wasp/bee couldn’t undo the buttons and take the cardigan off in order to get away from the bee/wasp. It was in fact the bee/wasp that was the issue, not the buttons at all. Seeing the whole picture, making sense of the of it all, as the adult she was, she then understood everything. The phobia was dissolved through this review and therapy. Her belief was changed to the fact that buttons are not dangerous/bad/negative.
A good night’s sleep just can’t be bought, it’s valuable and something we as humans need. I wonder if you’re finding any of the following a problem…
- can’t get to sleep
- get to sleep but wake up
- get up to go to the loo and can’t get back to sleep
- get to sleep but wake up early and start chewing over the day ahead or the day before
- used to have a good night’s sleep but gradually some of the above has crept up on you
How long have you been experiencing this I wonder. I have worked with clients on this area, it’s a choice of whether its better for you to continue with the habit you’ve got, or would you like something better? Just think how a good night’s sleep might help you? For more information or to book a session for your sleep issues please call 07960 839122 or email email@example.com.
Abuse & bullying
A really important question …
What do you want for your future?
You’ll know or have a good idea as to what you’d like for yourself and the future – we work together on whatever you’d like to work on to enable to you to be empowered!
It doesn’t matter what age you were when it happened, if it’s still hurting you, it’s very important.
- It doesn’t matter what age you are now (especially when related to when it happened).
- All forms of abuse are covered.
- You can take back control of your life with support and time.
- All information given with be treated with complete confidentiality.
- We work at your pace and when you’re happy/comfortable doing so.
Abuse comes in many forms and the effects of these experiences can last a long time.
Maybe you’d like to take the sting out of the associated beliefs and habits or put the memory back in it’s proper place, have more power over the effects for your future, or whatever would be good for you.
I am currently working with a client who was bullied at school and wants to work on releasing old belief systems and habits that have developed from this experience. The client also wants to use more positive habits and beliefs for the future.
Whatever you’d like to discuss please contact me for a confidential chat or send me an email.
Bullies and bullying
Here’s some suggestions with regards to coping with bullies & nasty behaviour (and the after effects)
If you need some further help, want to take back control, you contact me for more information.
- Would you like to STOP FEELING GUILTY
- You may like to stop BEING MANIPULATED
- How about stop others using your good nature?
- Would you like, need or wish to put what you’ve been experiencing in its place – ie in the past so it doesn’t affect you so much?
- Do you want to increase and/or get back your confidence after being through the mill with a difficult situation?
It may be a partner, who at first was loving and charming and then slowly began to show (only to the other partner) their negative and nasty side. Others don’t get to see this side, so the person is left alone and isolated.
They may have started off as very nice, charming even and then their effects (manipulation if you like) starts. They start to undermine your confidence, they acquire your good ideas, they show their negative side then hide it from others. Familiar?
They may be a partner, a boss, a colleague, a friend, a family member – anyone. They are in your life and it may seem like they are running your life. Other people may be hood winked into believing that there’s a personality clash – they’ve been fooled & only see the charming/positive side .
The person at the other end of the negative behaviour is made to be the one with the “issue”. That’s not true!
It may be a boss jealous of your success, abilities, friendships, anything and everything positive in your life. It’s their issue that’s at the centre of all this, although it sure doesn’t feel like it. Some people actively use different aspects of their character to manipulate and use other people – it literally is all about them – what they can get, what they can take, who they can use!
GUILT – have you been made to feel guilty about something that in all reasonablenesss wasn’t anything to do with you? Making another person feel guilty is a manipulation strategy – and it can really work for them!
Unfortunately there’s not much that can be done with regards to their jealousy/envy/behaviour, that’s their’s to recognise and change. However, you can work towards a different scenario for you.
If you want to find your own answers/decisions on how to cope/move on – call or contact Vale Hypnotherapy for more information.
Bad bosses and bullying
Being bullied can be described in many different words, awful may be one of them. It can be done by BAD BOSSES, BAD COLLEAGUES or BAD RELATIONS/FRIENDS.
It can be described as awful and for many different reasons, pertinent and very specific to each person in that position.
Like most events in life that seemingly seem uncontrollable, the truth of the matter is that you can decide to work towards looking after yourself and controlling the ways and how you react, what actions you feel you need to take to look after yourself.
This may be surprising to you, but you can decide what you do next, you make the decisions for you, because you know you best.
Bullying comes in many forms and what you’re feeling is very important. If you would like to explore this further you are more than welcome to call Vale Hypnotherapy for a chat.
Bullying is very serious, it can leave people feeling negative, upset, demoralised, isolated or anything else you may well be experiencing or have knowledge of.
What you do next is up to you – you do have choices – you can change your situation. Sometimes the effects of bullies/nasty behaviour can last a very long time.
Clinical Hypnotherapy and mind coaching is particularly good at addressing those old hurts and habits you’ve developed from these situations.
You do have options and choices, you can decide to take back control. You’ve already taken important first steps by researching the topic on the internet and visiting this site. Now continue your journey when you’re ready – call for a chat.
HELP – BOOKS & INFORMATION
There are choices available, these are discussed and highlighted in these books (other books are available on this area). You may like to decide to do something, if you want to take back control it’s possible.
Have a look at the list on the website link and see if the person who is affecting you has any of the traits – it’s a really useful link to just confirm what you probably already know. The two books are again excellent and very helpful.
Help with bad bosses
This is just a brilliant book, written by a person who has been there, it’s plain and to the point – very well written with some helpful information/examples. I can’t recommend this book enough – I know a number of people who have used this book, even just to confirm that what was going on wasn’t in their head. They’ve found it really useful.
Nasty and spiteful
Find your real self confidence and esteem again!
It may be a partner, who at first was loving and charming and then slowly began to show (only to the other partner) their negative side. Others don’t get to see this side, so the person is left alone and isolated.
They may be a partner, a boss, a colleague, a friend, a family member – anyone.
They are in your life and it may seem like they are running your life.
Other people may be hood winked into believing that there’s a personality clash – they’ve been fooled & only see the charming/positive side .
The person at the other end of the negative behaviour is made to be the one with the “issue”.
That’s not true!
It may be a boss jealous of your success, abilities, friendships, anything and everything positive in your life. It’s their issue that’s at the centre of all this, although it doesn’t feel like it.
They will use the different sides of them to actively manipulate and put people down – it literally is all about them – what they can get, what they can take, what they can use!
And guess what?
…. It is all about them and their hidden issues
- … their back history
- … their self esteem (although they appear to to confident, it’s not really there at all)
- … they want to be centre of attention (however they want to achieve that)
- … they want to take what’s good about those aruond them
- … and USE THEM to their OWN ENDS!
Find your real self confidence and esteem again!
If you have any questions or would like to arrange an appointment, please contact me, 07960 839122 or send an email via firstname.lastname@example.org
Story of Narcissus
The story of Echo and Narcissus is used as a warning to those who love someone that can not love them back and is often used as a basis for understanding the implications of a condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is also used in reference to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Extracts taken from the “The Age of Fable” written by THOMAS BULFINCH were used in the story above.
In Greek mythology Echo was a wood nymph who loved a youth by the name of Narcissus. He was a beautiful creature loved by many but Narcissus loved no one. He enjoyed attention, praise and envy. In Narcissus’ eyes nobody matched him and as such he considered none were worthy of him.
Echo’s passion for Narcissus was equaled only by her passion for talking as she always had to have the last word. One day she enabled the escape of the goddess Juno’s adulterous husband by engaging Juno in conversation. On finding out Echo’s treachery Juno cursed Echo by removing her voice with the exception that she could only speak that which was spoken to her.
Echo often waited in the woods to see Narcissus hoping for a chance to be noticed. One day as she lingered in the bushes he heard her footsteps and called out “Who’s here?” Echo replied “Here!” Narcissus called again “Come”, Echo replied “Come!”. Narcissus called once more “Why do you shun me?… Let us join one another.” Echo was overjoyed that Narcissus had asked her to join him. She longed to tell him who she was and of all the love she had for him in her heart but she could not speak. She ran towards him and threw herself upon him.
Narcissus became angry “Hands off! I would rather die than you should have me!” and threw Echo to the ground.
Echo left the woods a ruin, her heart broken. Ashamed she ran away to live in the mountains yearning for a love that would never be returned. The grief killed her. Her body became one with the mountain stone. All that remained was her voice which replied in kind when others spoke.
Narcissus continued to attract many nymphs all of whom he briefly entertained before scorning and refusing them. The gods grew tired of his behaviour and cursed Narcissus. They wanted him to know what it felt like to love and never be loved. They made it so there was only one whom he would love, someone who was not real and could never love him back.
One day whilst out enjoying the sunshine Narcissus came upon a pool of water. As he gazed into it he caught a glimpse of what he thought was a beautiful water spirit. He did not recognise his own reflection and was immediately enamoured. Narcissus bent down his head to kiss the vision. As he did so the reflection mimicked his actions. Taking this as a sign of reciprocation Narcissus reached into the pool to draw the water spirit to him. The water displaced and the vision was gone.
He panicked, where had his love gone? When the water became calm the water spirit returned. “Why, beautiful being, do you shun me? Surely my face is not one to repel you. The nymphs love me, and you yourself look not indifferent upon me. When I stretch forth my arms you do the same; and you smile upon me and answer my beckonings with the like.” Again he reached out and again his love disappeared. Frightened to touch the water Narcissus lay still by the pool gazing in to the eyes of his vision.
He cried in frustration. As he did so Echo also cried. He did not move, he did not eat or drink, he only suffered. As he pined he became gaunt loosing his beauty. The nymphs that loved him pleaded with him to come away from the pool. As they did so Echo also pleaded with him. He was transfixed; he wanted to stay there forever. Narcissus like Echo died with grief. His body disappeared and where his body once lay a flower grew in it’s place. The nymphs mourned his death and as they mourned Echo also mourned.
Sports mind coaching
With any sport, you have got all the techniques organised, practiced even to the point of muscle memory, however is there something that’s stopping you from progressing, or do you want better performance/confidence?
You know all there is to know about your sport – using mind coaching and clinical hypnotherapy you could review at what’s stopping you progressing, work on the area and move on postively.
After all, you’ve invested all that money on equipment and learnt the tactics/how to play, you may have even invested in coaches and instructors.
So now you can contact Louise for more information about working on those areas that make you experience some “mind over matter” difficulties and mind based trip-ups.
Client Story & feedback
I worked with Louise of Vale Hypnotherapy to give my golf game more consistency and improve my putting, using mind coaching and clinical hypnotherapy techniques.
This was done over 2 sessions. During the sessions I felt relaxed and in control at all times.
A fellow golfer recommended Louise to me.
I found Louise to be friendly, approachable and highly professional.
I am delighted with the results and my confidence in my game has been restored.
I am happy to recommend Louise and mind coaching/clinical hypnotherapy.
Examples – Golf and Horseriding
Below are two examples of sports mind coaching, one is golf and the other is horseriding .
News features – fear of own horse
Interview with Bob Rotella
Sports Performance – GOLF
Just how frustrating can golf make you?
That length golf putt that you just can’t hole
That golf chip and putt, that drive
Those obstacles in your way – stopping you from enjoying your game of golf further!
There are those physical obstacles and the psychological ones – is one ruling the golfing roost at the moment?
You may call it the yips, messing up a shot you know you’ve nailed before, many times. Does one golf shot may mess up your enjoyment / performance of your whole game of golf? And the most annoying thing is, that you know what you want to do! Then there’s the added element called pressure, that effect that makes you seemingly fail or yip or flunk out.
Enjoy your golf
Being on the golf course could just be sheer enjoyment for yourself, enjoy being outside, with your friends, enjoy the solitude even, the nature around. You decide whether or not to be bothered what your golf scorecard says!
Golf Clubs – friends or foes?
Putting or off putting?
Driving rather than hooking?
Golf scorecard or pressure cooker?
Golf competitions – calm & collected?
Slicing that shot?
Increased enjoyment of your game of golf?
Being in the golf zone as appropriate?
Leaving less than good golf shots behind you?
It’s just so damned frustrating!
Being aware of the positive parts of your game and developing them further ?
Putting any negatives in their place / in the past?
Better management of obstacles – physical and psychological?
Playing off realistic expectations?
Rough shots – sort out then walk on to next shot positively?
1 to 18 holes – enjoy your game of golf or continue to be FRUSTRATED?
19th hole – you’ve got there, so now do you want to review your golf game positively?
Golf scorecard – going from 9 to the dreaded 10?
Would you like to have more confidence riding your horse?
Have you lost some of your confidence riding?
Has your horse had a bit of a reaction and left you less confident?
Got a new horse and need to build up confidence with the new changes?
Horse riding is all about confidence, both for the rider and horse, one being able to communicate between each other so effortlessly. When this partnership is positive, it’s very positive. However, when it’s gone wrong or not quite as it needs to be, then you can have a nervous rider and horse.
I have worked with clients regarding horse riding confidence, training and learning with the right teacher, buying decisions and feeling more confident with horses in general,
Firstly and very importantly, this page isn’t all about telling you what you need to do – you’ll already have decided that.
This is about how you could use the therapies and strategies on offer to change your habits and beliefs, help you attain the lifestyle, weight, healthy eating and drinking level you’d like.
I wonder if any of the following feel familiar to you? Or, maybe there’s something else you’d like to work on?
Want to tackle your comfort eating?
Want positive results from healthy eating?
Prefer to invest some time and effort into developing a healthy lifestyle
Remove your barriers to succes – you could find out more what your barriers
Want to stop comfort eating?
Want to live more healthily?
Explore these areas and more, you could find out what makes you feel that way.
You may find out what started this process – the need for treats.
Been on various diets for years? Find you lose then gain again?
Were you told/made to eat all that was on your plate when younger?
Was not finishing you meal associated with guilt (eg starving African children)?
It’s really easy to keep to certain habits, even though you’ve been trying to change, improve, increase or reduce what you eat or drink.
In order to change habits, you could use clinical hypnotherapy and mind coaching to help you do this.
You may want to stop using food/drink for a stress management strategy, and use another, more useful habit (which you decide/choose).
Maybe you’d like to change some of your eating habits from childhood for better ones for you now?
This is the connection between how you feel and what happens next – reaching for the crisps, biscuits, sweets, chocolate etc whenever you feel good or nervous or stressed or any other emotion.
This is a learnt behaviour which you may like to realign to your current needs and wishes.
Have you reached a plateau in your weight loss?
Having been successful on your diet/weight management system, you may have come to a stop, or plateau. Where you’ve got to a certain point and need to increase your motivation. You could use clinical hypnotherapy to change you motivation levels.
Better management over what and how much you eat?
It may be a case of having more management (control) over certain events/food/drink. For instance, being able to enjoy a certain amount of chocolate when you think it’s the right time, rather than HAVING to have the food/drink option. It’s all about more and better management for you, as you are now.
As part of a diet or weight management you may have found that in order to reduce the calories consumed, you may choose to have better management of your drink consumption. For example reducing the number of units per week, ie a general reduction.