Vale Therapy (Louise Page)

Abuse & bullying

A really important question …

What do you want for your future?

You’ll know or have a good idea as to what you’d like for yourself and the future – we work together on whatever you’d like to work on to enable to you to be empowered!

Important:

It doesn’t matter what age you were when it happened, if it’s still hurting you, it’s very important.

  • It doesn’t matter what age you are now (especially when related to when it happened).
  • All forms of abuse are covered.
  • You can take back control of your life with support and time.
  • All information given with be treated with complete confidentiality.
  • We work at your pace and when you’re happy/comfortable doing so.

Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms and the effects of these experiences can last a long time.

Maybe you’d like to take the sting out of the associated beliefs and habits or put the memory back in it’s proper place, have more power over the effects for your future, or whatever would be good for you.

I am currently working with a client who was bullied at school and wants to work on releasing old belief systems and habits that have developed from this experience.   The client also wants to use more positive habits and beliefs for the future.

Whatever you’d like to discuss please contact me for a confidential chat or send me an email.

 

Bullies and bullying

Here’s some suggestions with regards to coping with bullies & nasty behaviour (and the after effects)

If you need some further help, want to take back control, you contact me for more information.

  • Would you like to STOP FEELING GUILTY
  • You may like to stop BEING MANIPULATED
  • How about stop others using your good nature?
  • Would you like, need or wish to put what you’ve been experiencing in its place – ie in the past so it doesn’t affect you so much?
  • Do you want to increase and/or get back your confidence after being through the mill with a difficult situation?

Nasty Behaviour

It may be a partner, who at first was loving and charming and then slowly began to show (only to the other partner) their negative and nasty side. Others don’t get to see this side, so the person is left alone and isolated.

They may have started off as very nice, charming even and then their effects (manipulation if you like) starts. They start to undermine your confidence, they acquire your good ideas, they show their negative side then hide it from others. Familiar?

They may be a partner, a boss, a colleague, a friend, a family member – anyone. They are in your life and it may seem like they are running your life. Other people may be hood winked into believing that there’s a personality clash – they’ve been fooled & only see the charming/positive side .

The person at the other end of the negative behaviour is made to be the one with the “issue”. That’s not true!

It may be a boss jealous of your success, abilities, friendships, anything and everything positive in your life. It’s their issue that’s at the centre of all this, although it sure doesn’t feel like it. Some people actively use different aspects of their character to manipulate and use other people – it literally is all about them – what they can get, what they can take, who they can use!

GUILT – have you been made to feel guilty about something that in all reasonablenesss wasn’t anything to do with you? Making another person feel guilty is a manipulation strategy – and it can really work for them!

Unfortunately there’s not much that can be done with regards to their jealousy/envy/behaviour, that’s their’s to recognise and change. However, you can work towards a different scenario for you.

If you want to find your own answers/decisions on how to cope/move on – call or contact Vale Hypnotherapy for more information.

 

Bad bosses and bullying

Being bullied can be described in many different words, awful may be one of them. It can be done by BAD BOSSES, BAD COLLEAGUES or BAD RELATIONS/FRIENDS.

It can be described as awful and for many different reasons, pertinent and very specific to each person in that position.

Like most events in life that seemingly seem uncontrollable, the truth of the matter is that you can decide to work towards looking after yourself and controlling the ways and how you react, what actions you feel you need to take to look after yourself.

This may be surprising to you, but you can decide what you do next, you make the decisions for you, because you know you best.

Bullying comes in many forms and what you’re feeling is very important. If you would like to explore this further you are more than welcome to call Vale Hypnotherapy for a chat.

Bullying is very serious, it can leave people feeling negative, upset, demoralised, isolated or anything else you may well be experiencing or have knowledge of.

This may be surprising to you, but you can decide what you do next, you make the decisions for you, because you know you best.

What you do next is up to you – you do have choices – you can change your situation. Sometimes the effects of bullies/nasty behaviour can last a very long time.

Clinical Hypnotherapy and mind coaching is particularly good at addressing those old hurts and habits you’ve developed from these situations.

You do have options and choices, you can decide to take back control. You’ve already taken important first steps by researching the topic on the internet and visiting this site. Now continue your journey when you’re ready – call for a chat.

 

HELP – BOOKS & INFORMATION

There are choices available, these are discussed and highlighted in these books (other books are available on this area). You may like to decide to do something, if you want to take back control it’s possible.

 

Negative traits

Have a look at the list on the website link and see if the person who is affecting you has any of the traits – it’s a really useful link to just confirm what you probably already know. The two books are again excellent and very helpful.

NHS Information re Narcissistic Personality (scroll down page)

 

Help with bad bosses 

This is just a brilliant book, written by a person who has been there, it’s plain and to the point – very well written with some helpful information/examples. I can’t recommend this book enough – I know a number of people who have used this book, even just to confirm that what was going on wasn’t in their head. They’ve found it really useful.

http://rcm-uk.amazon.co.uk/e/cm?t=wwwvalehypnot-21&o=2&p=8&l=as1&asins=0077099516&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&fc1=000000&IS2=11=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

 

Nasty and spiteful

Find your real self confidence and esteem again!

It may be a partner, who at first was loving and charming and then slowly began to show (only to the other partner) their negative side. Others don’t get to see this side, so the person is left alone and isolated.

They may have started off as very nice, charming even and then their effects (manipulation if you like) starts. They start to undermine your confidence, they acquire your good ideas, they show their negative side then hide it from others. Familiar?

They may be a partner, a boss, a colleague, a friend, a family member – anyone.

They are in your life and it may seem like they are running your life.

Other people may be hood winked into believing that there’s a personality clash – they’ve been fooled & only see the charming/positive side .

The person at the other end of the negative behaviour is made to be the one with the “issue”.

That’s not true!

It may be a boss jealous of your success, abilities, friendships, anything and everything positive in your life. It’s their issue that’s at the centre of all this, although it doesn’t feel like it.

They will use the different sides of them to actively manipulate and put people down – it literally is all about them – what they can get, what they can take, what they can use!

 

And guess what?

….  It is all about them and their hidden issues

  • … their back history
  • … their self esteem (although they appear to to confident, it’s not really there at all)
  • … they want to be centre of attention (however they want to achieve that)
  • … they want to take what’s good about those aruond them
  • … and USE THEM to their OWN ENDS!

Find your real self confidence and esteem again!

 

If you have any questions or would like to arrange an appointment, please contact me, 07960 839122 or send an email via valehypnotherapy@yahoo.co.uk

 

Story of Narcissus

The story of Echo and Narcissus is used as a warning to those who love someone that can not love them back and is often used as a basis for understanding the implications of a condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is also used in reference to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Extracts taken from the         “The Age of Fable” written   by THOMAS BULFINCH were used in the story above.

In Greek mythology Echo was a wood nymph who loved a youth by the name of Narcissus. He was a beautiful creature loved by many but Narcissus loved no one. He enjoyed attention, praise and envy. In Narcissus’ eyes  nobody matched him and as such he considered none were worthy of him.

Echo’s passion for Narcissus was equaled only by her passion for talking as she always had to have the last word. One day she enabled the escape of the goddess Juno’s adulterous husband by engaging Juno in conversation. On finding out Echo’s treachery Juno cursed Echo by removing her voice with the exception that she could only  speak that which was spoken to her.

Echo often waited in the woods to see Narcissus hoping for a chance to be noticed. One day as she lingered in the bushes he heard her footsteps and called out “Who’s here?” Echo replied “Here!” Narcissus called again “Come”, Echo replied “Come!”. Narcissus called once more “Why do you shun me?… Let us join one another.” Echo was overjoyed that Narcissus had asked her to join him. She longed to tell him who she was and of all the love she had for him in her heart but she could not speak. She ran towards him and threw herself upon him.

Narcissus became angry “Hands off! I would rather die than you should have me!” and threw Echo to the ground. Echo left the woods a ruin, her heart broken. Ashamed she ran away to live in the mountains yearning for a love that would never be returned. The grief killed her. Her body became one with the mountain stone. All that remained was her voice which replied in kind when others spoke.

Narcissus continued to attract many nymphs all of whom he briefly entertained before scorning and refusing them. The gods grew tired of his behaviour and  cursed Narcissus. They wanted him to know what it felt like to love and never be loved. They made it so there was only one whom he would love, someone who was not real and could never love him back.

One day whilst out enjoying the sunshine Narcissus came upon a pool of water. As he gazed into it he caught a glimpse of what he thought was a beautiful water spirit. He did not recognise his own reflection and was immediately enamoured. Narcissus bent down his head to kiss the vision. As he did so the reflection mimicked his actions. Taking this as a sign of reciprocation Narcissus reached into the pool to draw the water spirit to him. The water displaced and the vision was gone. He panicked, where had his love gone? When the water became calm the water spirit returned. “Why, beautiful being, do you shun me? Surely my face is not one to repel you. The nymphs love me, and you yourself look not indifferent upon me. When I stretch forth my arms you do the same; and you smile upon me and answer my beckonings with the like.” Again he reached out and again his love disappeared. Frightened to touch the water Narcissus lay still by the pool gazing in to the eyes of his vision.

He cried in frustration.  As he did so Echo also cried. He did not move, he did not eat or  drink, he only suffered. As he pined he became gaunt loosing his beauty. The nymphs that loved him pleaded with him to come away from the pool. As they did so Echo also pleaded with him. He was transfixed; he wanted to stay there forever. Narcissus like Echo died with grief. His body disappeared and where his body once lay a flower grew in it’s place. The nymphs mourned his death and as they mourned Echo also mourned.

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Vale Hypnotherapy – Stathern, Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire, LE14 4HW       07960 839122   valehypnotherapy@yahoo.co.uk     Twitter & Facebook: Louise Page 
Bottom stripes even skinnier at top